Leave All Your Love Behind
by rhapsomylo
Summary: Kurt watches a video of New Directions' Dog Days Are Over performance, bringing up feelings he'd rather not face.  Ohmigod, crap summary. Generally Sad Kurt Oneshot. Title from Dog Days Are Over.


My little take on Kurt's predicament involving the Dalton switch. The closest thing I'll ever come to angst, I guess.

* * *

"Boys, lunch is ready!"

Oh, Carole. Bless her heart.

Setting down the different shower hangers, Kurt leaned back and wiped a small bead of sweat from his forehead. His first time home from Dalton in days, and what was he doing? Not catching up on gossip with Tina, not shopping with Mercedes, but sitting in a small, cramped bathroom maneuvering around Finn's flailing arms as he tried to organize the shower curtain.

Yes, Burt had finally found a home fit for the new 'Humson' family, and Kurt had been recruited to help out. He'd assumed that would mean going out to pick up every sort of furniture and color swatch imaginable, but it turned out it was more like taking their old house, Finn's old house, and trying to combine it into some large decor a-la-mutt.

(The shower curtain was new though, since the old one had become a strikingly fashionable Hall-Gown.)

"Kay mom, coming!" Finn shouted back, letting the plastic curtain fall to the tub. The boys had been working at the left side of the house for a good two hours, and exhaustion was beginning to set in. Carole was the kind of woman who would happily serve hot dogs and RC cola as a meal, but at the moment Kurt didn't care what was to eat. Anything would be better than this tiny tile wasteland.

"So, Kurt." Finn said as he fixed his shirt, a small stain of perspiration dampening the neckline. Kurt frowned, hoping he didn't have the same thing happening to him.

"Yeah?"

"You're kind of...quiet."

"Well observed." Kurt said, letting Finn lead the way towards the kitchen. It was weird. This was technically his home, but Kurt was completely lost. In his mind, home was still his perfectly arranged while basement, not his Dalton dorm or the snug room at the back of the house filled with his boxes.

"It's just, I dunno, we haven't really talked in a while. I kinda thought you'd come back and be all happy, like you were when you spied on Blaine that first time. You were like, all happy. And now you're just...quiet."

While mentally deciding that Finn was getting a thesaurus for Christmas, Kurt nodded at his step-brother. He'd been quiet all day, true, but there was really nothing to tell. Dalton was fine. He'd moved in, his Dorm was comfortable, and life was...livable.

"Just...nothing to report, I guess."

Finn's hand awkwardly made its way to Kurt's shoulder. "If there's something wrong, you know you can tell me, right? Like, after the Karofsky thing-"

"Don't." Kurt said, brushing Finn's hand away. "Don't even say that name around me. Compared to McKinley, Dalton is a haven, if only for the lack of that neanderthal."

Finn nodded, and Kurt had to feel a pinch of sympathy. Finn had really been taking this step-brother thing to heart, and Kurt was much obliged. He was sure if there was another meat-head that found his way into Kurt's life, Finn wouldn't hesitate to take him down. But Kurt didn't have that problem anymore. Nope, that was why Dalton was so much better. Yep.

Silence stretched tight between them as they headed down the stairs and into the living room. The smell of burnt Grilled-cheese filled the small area, and Kurt had to shake his head. Please, no more Grilled Cheesus escapades. Finn seemed a little more happy to have food within walking distance, but stopped once a small 'beep!' came from his pocket. He pulled his iPhone out (A gift from Burt,) and grinned as something came up on-screen. He looked up at Kurt, who was still trying not to think of Grilled Cheesus and Karofsky, and motioned for him to come over.

"Dude, come here. You know how Artie records all our-er-the glee stuff so he can put it on Youtube?"

Kurt nodded.

"We did this awesome cover of that Dog Days song and it just got sent out. Wanna watch it?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, walking over to join Finn as he plopped on their couch. He was sure Schu wouldn't be to happy with the competition watching in on their private performances, not to mention to gasket Rachel would blow if she knew, but Finn apparently didn't care. Instead he made sure Kurt could see as his hand hovered over the play button until Kurt was situated. Then it began.

"Mercedes and Tina?" Kurt asked, impressed. It was rare that the two talented singers got recognition and Kurt was disappointed that he'd missed the occasion. Mercedes outfit was adorable, too. Kurt completely approved.

"Yeah, Rachel totally vouched for it. It was crazy."

And he'd missed that? Damn!

The video continued, and Kurt smirked to see his Glee-mates jumping up from behind the stage, their choreography sloppy and relaxed. The Warblers Council would not approve. Then again, as Kurt was beginning to let himself think in private, The Warblers Council could shove it.

He sighed, unaccustomed to the nostalgia he was starting to feel at the sight of everyone together. He remembered the joy, the freedom, the one time in his day when he wasn't just Kurt, the Gay Kid, but Kurt, the funny kid with a killer voice, great fashion sense, and great comebacks.

He bit his lip a little. Okay, it wasn't fun to admit it but he missed that. He missed them.

Speaking of The Warblers, Kurt reminded himself that he really couldn't call the New Directions his Glee-mates anymore. Now they were enemies, competition, the past. It surprised Kurt just how much of a pang of sadness hit him when he thought that. Shaking it off he watched his friends(?) on the screen.

The Run Fast line came, and Kurt had to grin. All his friends (Screw the council, there was no way the Amazing Bitch Trio of Quinn, Mercedes and Himself could ever be separated.) looked so...happy. Kurt felt almost jealous, watching them just jump around and have fun.

"You know what this reminds me of?" he said quietly as he watched everyone line up and just be dance. "Must be The Money. Or Hate on me. That was so fun."

Finn snorted, Kurt realizing that neither occasion was much fun for his Step-brother, not being separated into Sue's Rainbow Alliance and stuff, but it seemed to get through all the same.

"Or Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Finn added. Kurt felt stung again, remembering the bonds that he'd felt just months ago. Those bonds he couldn't have anymore. Those bonds he'd been chased away from. He swallowed hard and pushed the play button, diverting his attention.

"So Lauren stayed?" he asked, surprised at how shaky his voice was. He tried to calm his nerves, but seeing that girl who he only knew as a cocky bitch around his friends. (Old friends, old glee club!) made him seethe. She'd never shown a thread of care about anyone, and now she was in his spot. (No. She was filling an empty space that needed to be filled. Keep it together, Kurt.)

"Yeah," Finn answered, oblivious. "She's not a big fan of the whole thing, but since Rachel chased out that Sunshine girl, she's our only hope."

(Oh, and it was nice to have a reason to be mad at Rachel again. Because they weren't Frenemies, That would be ridiculous. Kurt only viewed the small girl as competition. That was the way it was supposed to be.)

And then everyone just looked so happy. Mike and Brittany were spinning around like lunatics, there was no move to describe what Santana was doing and Sam? Way to go, Sam with those hidden MJ moves! Kurt's emotions piled up, but were released only in a small puff of air. Seeing everyone jumping around, happy, carefree and delighted in their victory was almost more than he could handle.

(Calm down, calm down. Yeah, it's hard watching your friends have fun without you. Big deal. What would Blaine say right now? You're part of a new club, now, Kurt. You're a link in a very strong chain. Next time you audition for a solo -and you do it right- all this jealousy will just go away.)

But somehow, it was watching his friends come together for the group hug that made his tear ducts go into overdrive. A jealousy he wasn't aware existed sprang up, and his throat felt dry. His mind whirred months back to the Ballads project, those weird days when Kurt was a single child with a crush on the star quarterback, when he'd been coming to terms with who he was, and when their world, even if it was really messed up, made sense.

In a way, he was glad those hectic lust-filled days were behind him, but he couldn't shake the song that filled his ears, Lean On Me. Remembering the kinsmanship as everyone banded together, when bonds were strong and Kurt had twelve people outside of his family that he knew would have his back and protect him, that memory always made him smile.

But now it was like he was watching from afar, his friends so happy and carefree. He had to keep his hands from shaking as he applauded the performance, which had been 'Absolutely adorable' as he told Finn, before the taller boy went to devour lunch. Kurt didn't move.

He couldn't go back, that stupid jock had made that clear to the countertenor. He knew it was unsafe, unhealthy, and his return would be greeted with only smiles from the Glee Club. He knew Dalton was safe, that he would soon grow used to the uniformity and the notion of not standing out, but being more like another smiling face. He'd been told a thousand times, by either Blaine, his father, or himself that better times were ahead.

Kurt didn't care though. All he wanted was to go back.

* * *

I have no idea how things are gonna go at Dalton, but I really want Kurt to go back. Like, insanely. I want Karofsky to get punched in the face and for Kurt to run to Sam, because I am such a Kum Shipper. ; -; I do ship Klaine too, but anyone telling Kurt to get used to being in the background gets me defensive. Blaine himself is love though, and I don't want you guys to think I'm hating on him. I can't wait to see the adventures he and Kurt go through and the things Kurt gets Blaine to wear. (My mind is a strange place. ._.)

Anyway! Not my best work, but I teared up when I wrote it, so it's satisfactory as far as I'm concerned. What did you all think?


End file.
